Even though this word is only five letters, it is very big in its meaning and in its function. In the world of D/s trust is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Building trust should be a training consideration for a Dominant.
So submission, in the terms of a BDSM relationship is the conscious transference of a submission to her Dominant. The submissive becomes His in body, mind and spirit by the means of consensual giving. So trust is necessary and important during the submissive training.
Trust has to be earned. If the Dominant stands behind the submissive and the submissive falls backward, trusting the Dominant to catch them before crashing to the floor that’s trusting in someone and BDSM is similar, the myth is that it’s abusive and weird whips and chains. Actually it’s about trust. When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic.
Trust that goes deeper, the kind that means you would trust your very life (for REAL) to someone, is not a trust that can be built in just days or weeks. This much deeper level of trust can often take years to establish, and honesty is its foundation.
A Dominant can’t order his submissive to trust him, only His actions over time allow her to trust Him. Many aspects of submissive training are geared to building trust.
She must believe she can trust her Dominant with her present and future.
Only then can she truly give herself as His properly.
In addition a Dominant must feel he can trust this submissive trainee.
Remember that trust is a two edged sword.
Trust, like love doesn't happen instantly. Yes, we have all learned to develop a bit of an instinct or inner feeling, and for most of us, more often than not, if we follow those feelings we'll find we're right. But true unquestioned trust will take time to establish.
Whether it is trusting limits will be respected, trusting of judgment in making decisions, or trusting in aftercare and follow thru, there are a wide and diverse range of issues to be considered. Whatever the cost, whatever the effort involved, both the Dominant and the submissive must make every effort to always be open and very candid.
Before a submissive can give herself completely to her Dominant she must know that she can TRUST Him. The submissive must be able to trust the Dominant to respect the submissive's limits, and that He will not hurt the submissive, the submissive must know that the Dominant will always have safety first on His mind, and will not leave the submissive without the basic necessities of life. The Dominant must be able to trust the submissive to carry out the needed tasks, obey, please, and to be fully faithful and safe in the same way that He, as a Dominant, is expected to do.
TRUST means that she has learned that her Dominant will do the following.....
1] The Dominant has the knowledge and skills necessary to train her.
2] The Dominant will keep her safe at all times.
3] The Dominant will accept ownership of her.
4] The Dominant will structure her service in a way that she feels useful.
5] The Dominant will always respect her safe words or signals.
Can you think of a few more a write them down?
Full and complete trust in your partner will be the difference between a successful D/s relationship and a relationship filled with hurt, fear and anger.
So what happens when you in an online Dominant/submissive relationship?
TRUST is the only answer because in most relationships, the Dominant provides a formal structure that the submissive must adhere to. If the relationship is long distance, the Dominant only has the submissive's word that they are adhering to boundaries, and truly performing tasks established by the Dominant. The Dominant must trust in the submissive's word that they are doing as they are directed. Sometimes, it is so tempting to merely say, "Yes, I did or didn't do something," when in reality you are telling a lie to make your life a little easier. The submissive also has to trust that the Dominant will fulfil their responsibilities to the submissive. If the Dominant does not fulfil these responsibilities, the submissive may slowly start to rebel, often not realizing what they are doing until it is too late. The decisions and choices you make with respect to unsupervised obedience will be your own.
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