Collar and leash play

On Day 4 we learn about putting a collar and leash on your submissive. In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material worn by a person around the neck to indicate their submissive or slave status in a BDSM relationship. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal "collaring ceremonies," which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony and the collar having similar significance as a wedding ring. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck, often with metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash, rope or other restraints; but to be more discreet in public, some people may wear an ordinary choker or jewellery necklace for the same symbolic purpose.

The fantasy of the leash, when someone is on a leash they enter a submissive fantasy world, created within the boundaries of their own mind. They find themselves chained to that which they treasure most their Dominant. It is like hovering on the brink of subspace, with each tug on the leash they float just a little higher.

Collars may be used in role-playing games involving erotic humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet-like status, especially when worn with a leash.

Many BDSM relationships focus on the power exchange between the Dominant and submissive. And what better way to showcase this power structure than with collar and leash play?

What is the meaning of a leash to a submissive? A leash is security; it allows the submissive to know exactly where the Dominant is and gives them a sense of safety. A leash is a sign of ownership; with a leash on, a submissive knows their place as the Dominant's submissive. With a leash on there are no doubts; the outside world knows beyond a shadow of a doubt who is owned and who owns them. There are no pretences of false modesty, unlike with a collar; it cannot be hidden within the delicate fold of one's clothing. A leash encourages focus; a submissive must focus on the movements and actions of the Dominant in order to avoid injury to herself, or inconvenience the Dominant.

The idea of one person possessing someone else (as indicated by the leash and collar) is something that is certain to add a new element to a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

This is a form of BDSM play that really requires that the Dominant enforce strict rules of how to and when to wear the collar and leash as well as what behaviours will be expected when it is worn.

Leash training is as important for the Dominant as it is for the submissive. Without the proper training a submissive can get injured quite easily. A sudden jerk on a leash can off balance the submissive causing them to fall, and perhaps injure themselves. In busy public places there is always a chance that somehow the leash will go unnoticed and someone will inevitably attempt to walk between the submissive and the Dominant…so it is best not to allow others to forget that the leash exists, you do this by presentation. Your appearance and movements should be calculated and precise so as to leave no doubts as the existence of the leash. 

How to use a leash

There are several ways to attach a leash, each with its own benefits and detriments.

The collar should also become something that becomes a reward for being a ‘good’ submissive or one that is finally owned by the Dominant.

Collar attachment: 

When a leash is attached to the collar it is very visible and hence less likely for someone to attempt to walk in between owner and owned. It does however have certain risks; for instance, if the owner jerks too hard on the leash it may cause an injury to the neck or throat, it may also cause the submissive to loose balance and fall. Remember when you use a collar leash you need to make sure that the leash is long enough for the submissive to stay about two feet behind you, I normally suggest at least a 24 inch if not 36 inch leash for this type of arrangement. Also make sure that the weight of the chain is not too much as to put a strain on the neck, but you definitely want it strong enough to give a little tug every now and then with out breaking.

In most BDSM relationships, the idea of getting ‘collared’ is a focal point and a sort of destination for the submissive training itself. Only when the submissive has mastered the tasks as prescribed by the Dominant can they become worthy of wearing a collar on a permanent basis. This collar can be a permanent part of the submissive, being locked around their neck without the ability to be taken off unless professionally broken. Or the collar can be temporary and put on and taken off only in BDSM scenes.

Wrist attachment: 

When you have the submissive cuffed it is always an interesting twist to add a little chain to the arrangement. Since there is more flexibility in the arms and wrists there is less chance of damage to the submissive, although jerking too hard can sprain a wrist or even dislocate the wrist. 

Advanced Training

As you get better at working with a leash there are some very basic techniques that can be added. 

1. Firm pressure applied downward on the leash indicates the command, "Down!" or "Kneel!" which ever is preferred. 

2. Firm pressure applied upward on the leash indicated the command "UP!” 

3. A quick commanding jerk towards the Dominant on the leash indicates the command "Come".

4. Several slight jerks to the front indicate that the Dominant wishes the submissive to take the lead, or precede him or her, such as when going through a door. 

5. Raising the hand with the leash in it, with the palm open and facing front indicates the command "Stop!” 

6. Lowering the hand with the leash in it, palm aimed at the floor indicates the command "Stay!" 

7. Lowering the hand with the leash in it, with two fingers extended pointing to the ground, indicates the command "Heal".

Think of one or two of your own command techniques, and also positions you want to use.

Walking with a leash or being lead by leash is a very humbling experience, and one that I think every submissive should have at one time or another. It is dreamt of by some and dreaded by others, but the experience will be remembered no matter how one feels about it. 

Although the use of a leash sounds easy it is not, I mean you have walked several dogs in your lifetime, how can a human be that much different? Walking a human is very different than walking a dog, to do so well requires experience and conscious thought. Understand the nuisance of a leash, how each tug affects the submissive, and how to guide without saying a word.

Some relationships even go so far as to have a collaring ceremony to show the linking of the Dominant and the submissive in their promises to dominate and to serve each other. Much like the vanilla weddings, this is a ceremony that is very special to the relationship and can also signify a deeper level for the commitment to each other.

For some, collar and leash play never goes beyond the bedroom. It becomes a way to demonstrate the role of the submissive as well as leading into doggie play in which the submissive acts like an animal to the Dominant. The Dominant might lead the submissive around on the leash and have them eat out of dog bowl. The submissive might also have to follow commands as though they were the property of the Dominant.

The collar and leash play can also become a humiliation play when the submissive needs to wear the collar and the leash outside of the home. Done in a public setting, it’s immediately obvious that the submissive is powerless in the relationship and that they are being controlled by someone else. While this is usually restricted to be done around folks that are BDSM educated, doing this around vanilla folks can truly make a submissive feel lower in position.

The great part about collar and leash play is that they can be used as often or as infrequent as you like, depending on your needs for it in your Dominant/submissive roles. 

Sometimes it can be used as a punishment; while others view it as a privilege; how you use this kind of play is a personal decision, but one that many others have already made.

Collaring is the mark of a submissive that has been accepted by their Dominant and one that you may well consider to be the crowning achievement of your relationship as well.

Please don't use a dog collar for this kind of play, rather go out and invest in a no-cheap BDSM collar, you wondering why? Well firstly the ring for the leash that is used on some BDSM collars are made to break if you pull on too hard on them, for safety reasons, but most of the dog collars don't break if you pull too much. So it's a safety measure that is used by most BDSM Collar builders.

Second thing; prefer a collar with a ring in front of the neck, if you pull hard there will be no big risk unless it is pulled suddenly and very strongly (case of whiplash injury).

Avoid ring behind the neck because there are more risk of strangulation.

While you have your submissive collared and leashed you can try these things with your submissive to make her feel more Dominated.

1] You can tell her to get down on her hands and knees and kiss your feet. 

2] You can tell her to bow down before you. 

3] With her hands and feet on the floor she can lower her head and kiss your feet. 

4] She can be told to tenderly kiss the top of each foot and then turn her head and gazed up at you. 

5] You can take her for a walk.

Can you name a list of how and what you would do while your submissive is collared and leashed.

Try it with your submissive.

Remember to always stay SSC.