Be a good Dominant

Day 3 we going to learn about being A good Dominant. A Dominant is a leader but a lot of people just want authority; they crave power, position and control, to be able to exert their will over others. But most don’t know how to handle it. Like most people when given unbridled power, they become cruel, harsh, unkind, cold, and distant. This is not what a Dominant should be.

A Dominant should be a father, an older brother, a guide, a protector, a teacher.
A Dominant should ALWAYS have the best interest of the Submissive at heart.

A Dominant needs to know and accept that many submissive’s appear in a manner that the Dominant might perceive to be needy. If the Dominant isn’t happy to accept the emotional needs of the submissive, then the Dominant isn’t ready to take ownership of a Submissive.

Acceptance of self, what is within yourself, what your wants needs and desires are.
Acceptance of your limitations and those of your submissive.
A Dominant should always be willing to communicate with His submissive at all times.
A Dominant isn’t about canning, whipping, flogging, or ordering people around.
Being a good Dominant is about taking responsibility.
As a Dominant you need to be honest with yourself and your submissive.
You need to know who you are, what you want, what you need, and what you don’t need.

A good Dominant needs compassion and should have the ability to see and at least attempt to understand the emotional aspects of your submissive.
To understand and be aware of the multitude of things within reality that can affect a submissive physically, emotionally and mentally.
A selfish person can never be a true Dominant.
A Dominant is Loyal.
A Dominant is a doer not a talker.

As a Dominant it is your job to be confidently in control of the situation at all times. You need to adopt the ideology that mistakes are unacceptable. This seems a contradiction, as no one ever intends to make a mistake, but some things should not be done in practise until you are confident you can accomplish them with skill and precision.

The reason that a Dominant will control the orgasms of a Submissive is because the Submissive yearns to be controlled. Not because the Dominant selfishly doesn’t want to see the Submissive pleasured. The Submissive needs to feel that a reward has been earned.

When something does go wrong, it’s on you to handle it like a man. It’s your job to make sure they are calm, safe and healthy and to discuss what just happened. You need to accept and own up to any of your own faults, and you need to provide boundless support and compassion. You should not expect to continue having fun that night, or possibly longer, depending on what she needs. This is your penance for the mistake, and you are never allowed to forget what is most important in all of this:

Submissive’s will rebel, fight back, be disobedient, bratty, insubordinate, and just like a child they will generally test the limits of the Dominant. This is where the good Dominant shines, He won’t feel threatened, and He won’t loose control, or become emotional. This is an opportunity where a Dominant can display why they are in charge, and why the submissive can trust them with control of their lives.

A good Dominant genuinely wants to see the submissive, grow, and improve as both a person and as a Submissive.

Today go sit in a quiet relaxed environment and in your Dominant journal write what you think makes you a good Dominant.

Read the above and by each one think if you are like that or not, do you need to work on yourself by this one or that one, write down where you can better yourself as a Dominant, make a list of your faults that you can work on.

Also make a list of all your good points where you feel you excel as a Dominant.

Make a list of good Dominant points that you feel can be added here, as I’m sure there are a lot more, but put your thinking cap on and also think of a few.

So when you are done you will be able to see what to start working on to better yourself as a Dominant.