Make Your Own Golfball Gag

Golfball Gag

Materials List:

Practice golfball, plastic, with holes
Piece of leather thong, approximately 24
Emery board

Construction Details:

First, take the emery board and work on the rough edges where the two halves of the golf ball were joined. Remember it's going in someone's mouth and you don't want to cut their lips. Then pass the leather lace through two holes on opposing sides of the ball. Knot the lace on each side of the ball to keep it centered on the lace.

Play Tips:

The ball goes in the mouth, the lace ties behind the head. The holes in the ball allow for breathing, drooling, and some grunting and screaming sounds to escape. Since your partner won't as easily be able to use a safeword (if you use them), you'll need to set up a safe signal instead.

Please use a new Golfball..

Evaluating your submissive’s performance

Day 9 is learning about evaluating your submissive’s peformance.
Your submissive’s evaluation is based upon how well she serves, obeys and pleases you as her Dominant.

Your submissive's training involves evaluating this performance based on service. The evaluations are based on the progress and growth of a consensual submissive that agreed to training after being informed as to what is required of her.

Your submissive's service has a two part meaning; behaviour and state of mind.

Both are defined as follows:

A) Behaviour:

By completing her assigned work, and or duties for you as her Dominant.
By being able to follow all the daily orders that you as her Dominant gave to her.
This is a significant part of being a submissive.
She is given an order or command and stops what she is doing and completes that order.
It also may mean completing orders that take a period of time to complete.
It means your submissive can follow established rules and protocols that you as her Dominant have given to her to follow.
These are also known as Pre-existing guidelines for behaviour, work and duties.
This can be rules of submission, behaviour detailed in a contract, guidelines or oral prior instructions.
Being an assistant to, helping or benefiting her Dominant, like acting on behalf of or in conjunction with her Dominant, which involves her using her own judgment and intelligence for the pleasure and betterment of her Dominant.
Being a submissive is not always following orders each step of the way. It may mean that a submissive is given a general order to complete a task and all the judgment and reasoning necessary to accomplish it is hers.
Many submissive's are given positions of authority in different forms by their Dominant's. The submissive is expected to perform in this position of authority in a way that pleases to her Dominant. Being a submissive does not mean you never use your judgment or intelligence again. In fact, it usually means that you are given ways to use both.

B) State of Mind:

Being ready to help, and be useful to her Dominant, such as being flexible and available.
By the submissive, being willing, and also accepting spontaneous orders.
When, the submissive has some active devotion, to her Dominant in actual behaviour.

1] Worshiping her Dominant, loving, admiring and submitting to her Dominant. Service to her Dominant by her worship of Him is a way she shows her devotion and her submission. It is behaviour that exhibits love, admiration and submission. By worshiping her Dominant she expresses her submission, devotion and the desire for His Dominance. This may involve kneeling or face down positions, kissing His feet or other rituals.

2] Commitment to her submission.
A] A willingness to give her time, energy and effort to pleasing her Dominant and learning the skills necessary for her submission.
B] When she knows she also has a loyalty to her Dominant and honours His Dominance of her.

Observable objective of submissive training that can be evaluated is service:
The observable objective of submissive training is proper service. A Dominant can only truly judge a submissive by what His five senses reveal to Him. Try as He may, He is unable to completely see into his submissive’s mind and heart. This is one thing the submissive must accept and be honest with Him about. He can’t hear her thoughts or feel the emotions a submissive feels. He can only observe her behaviour and come to a conclusion about what He sees. Demonstrating proper behaviour is the best way a submissive can show her state of mind to her Dominant.

Many Dominant’s downplay the use of contracts, written protocols and rules. In a goal oriented training formal documentation that details what is expected is very useful. It is especially useful during early stages of training. Providing a standard that can be studied and practiced fosters positive behaviour and improves overall service. It also helps to direct her motivations.

I’m sure we all agree that providing written rules and guidelines will involve more work on the part of a Dominant. The advantage is that changes in the written guidelines are more likely to be discussed, understood and obeyed by the submissive.
If the objective is to change a submissive from her current behaviour to behaviour that enables her to serve her Dominant better and in a way that pleases Him, then written instructions are of great value. This assumes that a Dominant has a plan and is aware of what behaviour He wants from her. If this is the case, rules don’t change that often.
The evaluation of a submissive’s service is best judged upon standards that are clearly known by Dominant and submissive. An evaluation plan can be formally or informally developed for each of the areas defined as service. An evaluation of her past and present service provides a way a submissive can see her progress as well as highlighting areas that need improvement.
Training a submissive is a process of re-educating and re-socializing her to serve her Dominant. A submissive has to be educated as to how she is expected to behave and to socialize in the contract of her submission.

Rules Part 2

Rules – Part 2. - Rules when together alone with Dominant.

Day 08 is still all about rules, but the rules today are for when you and your submissive are alone in one another's presence. Today you can read through them and decide what ones you want to use and perhaps change some to suit your needs and don’t forget to add a few of your own.

1] As my submissive, you will ask to depart Master's presence, whether it is physical, by phone, or virtual, for any reason.

2] As my submissive, even though you submit to me, you are in fact my equal. If you feel that you are being treated unfairly physically or emotionally, you will let me know IMMEDIATELY.

3] As my submissive, you will always refer to me your Dominant as either, “Master” Sir or “my Master”.

4] As my submissive, if you are too ill, tasks and activities may be postponed until further notice.

5] As my submissive, you will present your body for my pleasure in the positions given to you by me.

6] As my submissive, if you are unsure, you will ask. You will not be punished for not understanding.

7] As my submissive, you are to wear the clothing I choose, or approve for you on such day.

Rules Part 1

Rules – Part 1. - General Rules
Day 07 is all about rules, so we went on a search for some general rules that most Dominant's use and came up with some for you, so today you can read through them and decide what ones you want to use and perhaps change some to suit your needs or you can add a few of your own on.

1] As my submissive, you are to communicate with me as your Dominant when you are distressed in any way.

2] As my submissive, you will to the best of your ability follow all rules, guidelines, and rituals that I as your Dominant have put in place.

3] As my submissive, you are always in submission towards me as your Dominant whether I am present or not.

4] As my submissive, you are to be completely obedient at all times, whether I am present or not. When you fight against it or against me as your Dominant in any way, no matter how subtle, you only hurt the relationship with me your Dominant and yourself.

5] As my submissive, you will always be honest and respectful to me as your Dominant. Even when you think I am in the wrong, you will be respectful in your tone, actions and mannerisms.

6] As my submissive, you are to submit even when you do not understand, you do not want to, or do not agree, because you know I as your Dominant will always do what is best for you. Your submissive nature is a part of your very existence. As the submissive you will work hard to remove the blocks that stand in your way of fully submitting to me as your Dominant in every way. Only through submission can you find your true self.

7] As my submissive, you will wear the collar I have given to you with pride, for it signifies my ownership to you and your devotion to me as your Dominant.

8] As my submissive, you will always speak in a quiet and respectful tone to me as your Dominant. Your eyes must be cast down in the presence of your Dominant unless you are given permission to do otherwise or if I do not want you to look down.

9] As my submissive, you will maintain a healthy diet and healthy body as you are taking care of what belongs to your Dominant.

10] As my submissive, you will keep your home clean and tidy at all times (If living with the Dominant then, as my submissive, you will keep my home clean and tidy at all times).

11] As my submissive, you will keep yourself shaven at all times, whether I am around or not. You will keep yourself clean, smelling nice and attractive at all times.

12] As my submissive, you will maintain a submissive journal for me as your Dominant on a daily basis.

13] As my submissive, you will ask me as your Dominant for permission to satisfy any need you have before acting upon it, regardless of what it is. Sexual activity of any kind requires my permission. The privilege of climaxing is the sole discretion of the Dominant as well. To receive pleasure is at the whim of your Dominant.

14] As my submissive, you must spend a portion of your day in contemplation of your submission and me as your Dominant. It is to be done before bed, during which time you will repeat your submissive mantra a few times. This will be done by you wearing nothing but my collar.

15] As my submissive, you are encouraged to ask, in a respectful manner, about questions, concerns, guidance when things are unclear, or for what you need to continue your growth. As your Dominant I allow room for consideration before a decision is made, but once made it is my final say.

16] As my submissive, your limits will be respected, yet you are to trust me as your Dominant to take you past them when I feel that you are ready.

17] As my submissive, you will endure whatever discipline or punishment I as your Dominant gives you so you can become a better submissive for me, for you have much to learn in order to become a well-trained and well-behaved submissive.

Reduce Fear

Reduce Fear in your submissive

Day 06 is all about fears that your submissive has. You may have noticed that fear in your submissive is causing problems in her training or behaviour. The benefits of helping her overcome her fear can be seen in opening boundaries, pushing past her limits, increasing her skills for your pleasure and the pleasure of your submissive, and even building her confidence.

Even the most courageous people have fears to overcome. Is your submissive afraid of something tangible, like spiders or heights? Maybe she fears failure, change or something else that's more difficult to pin down. No matter what it is that scares your submissive, learn how to help your submissive to acknowledge, confront and take ownership of her fear to keep it from holding your submissive back in life.
Analyze your submissive's fear let her name her fear. Sometimes fear makes itself known immediately, clearly, and other times it’s more difficult to name the cause of those anxious feelings lurking in the back of your mind.

Identify the fear as you’re paying attention to every facet of your submissive. Be aware of anything that causes your submissive to act fearful. Is it a fear of hoods, fear of isolation, fear of the flogger, fear of bruising, or even a fear of not looking attractive in your eyes?
You may be uncovering lots of other small symptoms that deal with the official underlying fear. A fear of isolation may make her fear being bound and not being able to see you’re still in the room. You as a Dominant need to look for the underlying fear to work on it.

Get your submissive to sit down and as a task ask her to write down her fears. Writing down your fear is a way to officially admit that you have a problem with that fear and you want to overcome it. Get your submissive to keep a journal page about her fears, it is a good way to track her progress as you work toward conquering her fear. It can serve as a guide for the next time your submissive has got a problem that needs to be solved. You can help your submissive to overcome fear by facing it every time it comes in her way, and, once she decides to make up her mind, her fears will slowly start to dissolve away.

You need to dig deeper and find out where did her fear come from?

Ask your submissive to answer the following questions so you as the Dominant can better understand her fear.
1] What is the history of your fear?
2] Did it begin with a negative experience?
3] Is it related to factors that affected your childhood environment?
4] For how long have you been affected by this fear?
5] What triggers your fear?
6] Is it something obvious, like the sight of a snake on a trail?
7] How does your fear affect you?
8] Does it cause you to stay in bed instead of getting up?
9] Is the source of your fear actually dangerous?

Figure out everything that triggers your submissive's fear so you can determine how far it stretches.
The paradox you’ll encounter is that the more surface fears you help her conquer the harder the next ones will seem, as they have been hidden much deeper than the top layer. Sometimes just working through the source of this emotion is enough for your submissive to learn how to overcome it. If not, move to the third step.

Devise a plan there are two major ways you can help your submissive overcome a fear through a training session: direct confrontation and desensitization.

You may want to try direct confrontation, but remember you run the risk of losing trust, the ultimate currency in this kind of relationship, so use with caution. I suggest talk to your submissive and make sure she is happy to try this step so that you are not stepping on her boundaries or limits and you have your submissions permission to be trying this step. So if she has a fear of condiments you may be able to force her to get over it by placing her directly in contact with it. Direct confrontation works when she experiences a high level of fear during the stimulus. The next time she is exposed, it will not have the same effect. Repeat this as necessary.

Try gradual desensitization. You may want to try gradually building your submissive’s tolerance to more and more of the stimulus, or getting her closer to the object of fear.
An example desensitization plan for a fear of hoods may look like this:

1] Keep the leather hood in her field of vision
2] Start with hood, untied placed just on her head for less than 3 minutes.
3] Take it off, if she did well genuinely show praise.

BUT NEVER FORCE THE ISSUE, after all we trying to help her not make her more scared.

If your submissive didn’t do as well as you hoped, still express pride that she tried to accomplish the goal for her owner. Provide aftercare.

Help your submissive to slowly take control of her fear and remember to always celebrate your submissive's victories.

Trust

On Day 5 let's learn about trust when training a submissive and the important of a submissive’s trust in her Dominant during submissive training can’t be overstated.

Even though this word is only five letters, it is very big in its meaning and in its function. In the world of D/s trust is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Building trust should be a training consideration for a Dominant.
So submission, in the terms of a BDSM relationship is the conscious transference of a submission to her Dominant. The submissive becomes His in body, mind and spirit by the means of consensual giving. So trust is necessary and important during the submissive training.
Trust has to be earned. If the Dominant stands behind the submissive and the submissive falls backward, trusting the Dominant to catch them before crashing to the floor that’s trusting in someone and BDSM is similar, the myth is that it’s abusive and weird whips and chains. Actually it’s about trust. When trust trumps the possibility of harm, the result can feel incredibly intimate and erotic.

Trust that goes deeper, the kind that means you would trust your very life (for REAL) to someone, is not a trust that can be built in just days or weeks. This much deeper level of trust can often take years to establish, and honesty is its foundation.

A Dominant can’t order his submissive to trust him, only His actions over time allow her to trust Him. Many aspects of submissive training are geared to building trust.
She must believe she can trust her Dominant with her present and future.
Only then can she truly give herself as His properly.
In addition a Dominant must feel he can trust this submissive trainee.
Remember that trust is a two edged sword.
Trust, like love doesn't happen instantly. Yes, we have all learned to develop a bit of an instinct or inner feeling, and for most of us, more often than not, if we follow those feelings we'll find we're right. But true unquestioned trust will take time to establish.
Whether it is trusting limits will be respected, trusting of judgment in making decisions, or trusting in aftercare and follow thru, there are a wide and diverse range of issues to be considered. Whatever the cost, whatever the effort involved, both the Dominant and the submissive must make every effort to always be open and very candid.

Before a submissive can give herself completely to her Dominant she must know that she can TRUST Him. The submissive must be able to trust the Dominant to respect the submissive's limits, and that He will not hurt the submissive, the submissive must know that the Dominant will always have safety first on His mind, and will not leave the submissive without the basic necessities of life. The Dominant must be able to trust the submissive to carry out the needed tasks, obey, please, and to be fully faithful and safe in the same way that He, as a Dominant, is expected to do.

TRUST means that she has learned that her Dominant will do the following.....

1] The Dominant has the knowledge and skills necessary to train her.
2] The Dominant will keep her safe at all times.
3] The Dominant will accept ownership of her.
4] The Dominant will structure her service in a way that she feels useful.
5] The Dominant will always respect her safe words or signals.

Can you think of a few more a write them down?

Full and complete trust in your partner will be the difference between a successful D/s relationship and a relationship filled with hurt, fear and anger.

So what happens when you in an online Dominant/submissive relationship?

TRUST is the only answer because in most relationships, the Dominant provides a formal structure that the submissive must adhere to. If the relationship is long distance, the Dominant only has the submissive's word that they are adhering to boundaries, and truly performing tasks established by the Dominant. The Dominant must trust in the submissive's word that they are doing as they are directed. Sometimes, it is so tempting to merely say, "Yes, I did or didn't do something," when in reality you are telling a lie to make your life a little easier. The submissive also has to trust that the Dominant will fulfil their responsibilities to the submissive. If the Dominant does not fulfil these responsibilities, the submissive may slowly start to rebel, often not realizing what they are doing until it is too late. The decisions and choices you make with respect to unsupervised obedience will be your own.

Collar and leash play

On Day 4 we learn about putting a collar and leash on your submissive. In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material worn by a person around the neck to indicate their submissive or slave status in a BDSM relationship. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal "collaring ceremonies," which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony and the collar having similar significance as a wedding ring. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck, often with metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash, rope or other restraints; but to be more discreet in public, some people may wear an ordinary choker or jewellery necklace for the same symbolic purpose.

The fantasy of the leash, when someone is on a leash they enter a submissive fantasy world, created within the boundaries of their own mind. They find themselves chained to that which they treasure most their Dominant. It is like hovering on the brink of subspace, with each tug on the leash they float just a little higher.

Collars may be used in role-playing games involving erotic humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet-like status, especially when worn with a leash.

Many BDSM relationships focus on the power exchange between the Dominant and submissive. And what better way to showcase this power structure than with collar and leash play?

What is the meaning of a leash to a submissive? A leash is security; it allows the submissive to know exactly where the Dominant is and gives them a sense of safety. A leash is a sign of ownership; with a leash on, a submissive knows their place as the Dominant's submissive. With a leash on there are no doubts; the outside world knows beyond a shadow of a doubt who is owned and who owns them. There are no pretences of false modesty, unlike with a collar; it cannot be hidden within the delicate fold of one's clothing. A leash encourages focus; a submissive must focus on the movements and actions of the Dominant in order to avoid injury to herself, or inconvenience the Dominant.

The idea of one person possessing someone else (as indicated by the leash and collar) is something that is certain to add a new element to a Dominant/submissive relationship. 

This is a form of BDSM play that really requires that the Dominant enforce strict rules of how to and when to wear the collar and leash as well as what behaviours will be expected when it is worn.

Leash training is as important for the Dominant as it is for the submissive. Without the proper training a submissive can get injured quite easily. A sudden jerk on a leash can off balance the submissive causing them to fall, and perhaps injure themselves. In busy public places there is always a chance that somehow the leash will go unnoticed and someone will inevitably attempt to walk between the submissive and the Dominant…so it is best not to allow others to forget that the leash exists, you do this by presentation. Your appearance and movements should be calculated and precise so as to leave no doubts as the existence of the leash. 

How to use a leash

There are several ways to attach a leash, each with its own benefits and detriments.

The collar should also become something that becomes a reward for being a ‘good’ submissive or one that is finally owned by the Dominant.

Collar attachment: 

When a leash is attached to the collar it is very visible and hence less likely for someone to attempt to walk in between owner and owned. It does however have certain risks; for instance, if the owner jerks too hard on the leash it may cause an injury to the neck or throat, it may also cause the submissive to loose balance and fall. Remember when you use a collar leash you need to make sure that the leash is long enough for the submissive to stay about two feet behind you, I normally suggest at least a 24 inch if not 36 inch leash for this type of arrangement. Also make sure that the weight of the chain is not too much as to put a strain on the neck, but you definitely want it strong enough to give a little tug every now and then with out breaking.

In most BDSM relationships, the idea of getting ‘collared’ is a focal point and a sort of destination for the submissive training itself. Only when the submissive has mastered the tasks as prescribed by the Dominant can they become worthy of wearing a collar on a permanent basis. This collar can be a permanent part of the submissive, being locked around their neck without the ability to be taken off unless professionally broken. Or the collar can be temporary and put on and taken off only in BDSM scenes.

Wrist attachment: 

When you have the submissive cuffed it is always an interesting twist to add a little chain to the arrangement. Since there is more flexibility in the arms and wrists there is less chance of damage to the submissive, although jerking too hard can sprain a wrist or even dislocate the wrist. 

Advanced Training

As you get better at working with a leash there are some very basic techniques that can be added. 

1. Firm pressure applied downward on the leash indicates the command, "Down!" or "Kneel!" which ever is preferred. 

2. Firm pressure applied upward on the leash indicated the command "UP!” 

3. A quick commanding jerk towards the Dominant on the leash indicates the command "Come".

4. Several slight jerks to the front indicate that the Dominant wishes the submissive to take the lead, or precede him or her, such as when going through a door. 

5. Raising the hand with the leash in it, with the palm open and facing front indicates the command "Stop!” 

6. Lowering the hand with the leash in it, palm aimed at the floor indicates the command "Stay!" 

7. Lowering the hand with the leash in it, with two fingers extended pointing to the ground, indicates the command "Heal".

Think of one or two of your own command techniques, and also positions you want to use.

Walking with a leash or being lead by leash is a very humbling experience, and one that I think every submissive should have at one time or another. It is dreamt of by some and dreaded by others, but the experience will be remembered no matter how one feels about it. 

Although the use of a leash sounds easy it is not, I mean you have walked several dogs in your lifetime, how can a human be that much different? Walking a human is very different than walking a dog, to do so well requires experience and conscious thought. Understand the nuisance of a leash, how each tug affects the submissive, and how to guide without saying a word.

Some relationships even go so far as to have a collaring ceremony to show the linking of the Dominant and the submissive in their promises to dominate and to serve each other. Much like the vanilla weddings, this is a ceremony that is very special to the relationship and can also signify a deeper level for the commitment to each other.

For some, collar and leash play never goes beyond the bedroom. It becomes a way to demonstrate the role of the submissive as well as leading into doggie play in which the submissive acts like an animal to the Dominant. The Dominant might lead the submissive around on the leash and have them eat out of dog bowl. The submissive might also have to follow commands as though they were the property of the Dominant.

The collar and leash play can also become a humiliation play when the submissive needs to wear the collar and the leash outside of the home. Done in a public setting, it’s immediately obvious that the submissive is powerless in the relationship and that they are being controlled by someone else. While this is usually restricted to be done around folks that are BDSM educated, doing this around vanilla folks can truly make a submissive feel lower in position.

The great part about collar and leash play is that they can be used as often or as infrequent as you like, depending on your needs for it in your Dominant/submissive roles. 

Sometimes it can be used as a punishment; while others view it as a privilege; how you use this kind of play is a personal decision, but one that many others have already made.

Collaring is the mark of a submissive that has been accepted by their Dominant and one that you may well consider to be the crowning achievement of your relationship as well.

Please don't use a dog collar for this kind of play, rather go out and invest in a no-cheap BDSM collar, you wondering why? Well firstly the ring for the leash that is used on some BDSM collars are made to break if you pull on too hard on them, for safety reasons, but most of the dog collars don't break if you pull too much. So it's a safety measure that is used by most BDSM Collar builders.

Second thing; prefer a collar with a ring in front of the neck, if you pull hard there will be no big risk unless it is pulled suddenly and very strongly (case of whiplash injury).

Avoid ring behind the neck because there are more risk of strangulation.

While you have your submissive collared and leashed you can try these things with your submissive to make her feel more Dominated.

1] You can tell her to get down on her hands and knees and kiss your feet. 

2] You can tell her to bow down before you. 

3] With her hands and feet on the floor she can lower her head and kiss your feet. 

4] She can be told to tenderly kiss the top of each foot and then turn her head and gazed up at you. 

5] You can take her for a walk.

Can you name a list of how and what you would do while your submissive is collared and leashed.

Try it with your submissive.

Remember to always stay SSC.

Be a good Dominant

Day 3 we going to learn about being A good Dominant. A Dominant is a leader but a lot of people just want authority; they crave power, position and control, to be able to exert their will over others. But most don’t know how to handle it. Like most people when given unbridled power, they become cruel, harsh, unkind, cold, and distant. This is not what a Dominant should be.

A Dominant should be a father, an older brother, a guide, a protector, a teacher.
A Dominant should ALWAYS have the best interest of the Submissive at heart.

A Dominant needs to know and accept that many submissive’s appear in a manner that the Dominant might perceive to be needy. If the Dominant isn’t happy to accept the emotional needs of the submissive, then the Dominant isn’t ready to take ownership of a Submissive.

Acceptance of self, what is within yourself, what your wants needs and desires are.
Acceptance of your limitations and those of your submissive.
A Dominant should always be willing to communicate with His submissive at all times.
A Dominant isn’t about canning, whipping, flogging, or ordering people around.
Being a good Dominant is about taking responsibility.
As a Dominant you need to be honest with yourself and your submissive.
You need to know who you are, what you want, what you need, and what you don’t need.

A good Dominant needs compassion and should have the ability to see and at least attempt to understand the emotional aspects of your submissive.
To understand and be aware of the multitude of things within reality that can affect a submissive physically, emotionally and mentally.
A selfish person can never be a true Dominant.
A Dominant is Loyal.
A Dominant is a doer not a talker.

As a Dominant it is your job to be confidently in control of the situation at all times. You need to adopt the ideology that mistakes are unacceptable. This seems a contradiction, as no one ever intends to make a mistake, but some things should not be done in practise until you are confident you can accomplish them with skill and precision.

The reason that a Dominant will control the orgasms of a Submissive is because the Submissive yearns to be controlled. Not because the Dominant selfishly doesn’t want to see the Submissive pleasured. The Submissive needs to feel that a reward has been earned.

When something does go wrong, it’s on you to handle it like a man. It’s your job to make sure they are calm, safe and healthy and to discuss what just happened. You need to accept and own up to any of your own faults, and you need to provide boundless support and compassion. You should not expect to continue having fun that night, or possibly longer, depending on what she needs. This is your penance for the mistake, and you are never allowed to forget what is most important in all of this:

Submissive’s will rebel, fight back, be disobedient, bratty, insubordinate, and just like a child they will generally test the limits of the Dominant. This is where the good Dominant shines, He won’t feel threatened, and He won’t loose control, or become emotional. This is an opportunity where a Dominant can display why they are in charge, and why the submissive can trust them with control of their lives.

A good Dominant genuinely wants to see the submissive, grow, and improve as both a person and as a Submissive.

Today go sit in a quiet relaxed environment and in your Dominant journal write what you think makes you a good Dominant.

Read the above and by each one think if you are like that or not, do you need to work on yourself by this one or that one, write down where you can better yourself as a Dominant, make a list of your faults that you can work on.

Also make a list of all your good points where you feel you excel as a Dominant.

Make a list of good Dominant points that you feel can be added here, as I’m sure there are a lot more, but put your thinking cap on and also think of a few.

So when you are done you will be able to see what to start working on to better yourself as a Dominant.

Interview a submissive.

Day 2 we help you do an interview and get to know your submissive better.
So what questions should I ask a prospective submissive once I've found one of interest?

Ask your new submissive some sexual questions

1. What key words that trigger your arousal or submissive response?
2. What sexual/foreplay acts arouses you MOST intensely?
3. What bondage/submission fantasies/role-play do you desire?
4. What BDSM acts do you deeply want to try and why?
5. What are your BDSM hard limits?
6. How would you describe yourself and your kinks?
7. How did you discover your submissive tendencies?
8. How do you see kinks fitting into dating/life partnership?
9. Describe your D/s relationship thus far and where you see it going in the future and what are your thoughts on porn, sexting, etc.
10. If you are part of the online kink community, what has been your experience of it? Supportive, informative? Mostly good? Mostly bad?
11. Are you a switch? How does your attraction to different partners work? Do you feel submissive to some and dominant to others?
12. How were you introduced to the BDSM lifestyle?
13. Was your first experience (BDSM) as a dominant or submissive?
14. How did you feel about it?
15. As a submissive, what do you especially like for your Dominant to do? (Particular toys you enjoy, actions?)
16. What draws you to wanting to be submissive?

Think up 10 more of your own sexual questions to ask your submissive.

Ask some normal get to know you questions, and also answer them.

1. Who is your hero?
2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
3. What is your biggest fear?
4. What would you change about yourself if you could?
5. What really makes you angry?
6. What is your favourite thing about your career?
7. What is your biggest complaint about your job?
8. What is your proudest accomplishment?
9. What is your favourite book to read?
10. What was the last movie you went to? What did you think?
11. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
12. What is your favourite game or sport to watch and play?
13. Would you rather ride a bike, ride a horse, or drive a car?
14. What would you sing at Karaoke night?
15. What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most?
16. Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house?
17. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?
18. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
19. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?
20. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?
21. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?
22. If money was no object, what would you do all day?
23. What are your hobbies?
24. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
25. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
26. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)
27. What's your favourite zoo animal?
28. How many pillows do you sleep with?
29. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?
30. What's the tallest building you've been to the top in?
31. How often do you buy clothes?
32. What's the most daring thing you've ever done?
33. What was the last book you read?
34. Are you a clean or messy person?
35. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
36. What's your favourite fast food chain?
37. Do you love or hate rollercoaster’s?
38. What's your favourite movie?
39. What three items would you take with you on a deserted island?
40. Do you collect anything?
41. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
42. What do you do to keep fit?
43. What three things do you think of the most each day?
44. If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
45. What was your first job?
46. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join?
47. How many languages do you speak?
48. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be?
49. What is one thing you will never do again?
50. Who knows you the best?

Think of another 10 questions about your submissive that you would like to know and ask her.

To join our courses feel free to email me on submissivecourses@gmail.com

Journaling

Day 1 of our course is deciding and then discussing your decisions with your submissive about her having a submissive journal. 

You as the Dominant need to sit down and decide if you want your submissive to have a physical journal, a digital journal or an online journal/blog, you can also decide if you want your submissive to work in her journal every day or only some days of the week. As the Dominant partner in the relationship you should also start your own journal, this will help you remember all the little, or big things you need to remember. It will also help you to remember any task’s given and deadlines so you know what you have asked your submissive to do on a daily or weekly basis without forgetting, you can even record punishments given. 

Answer this question.

1. Just exactly what does a submissive journal mean to you as the Dominant and why do you think your submissive should keep one?

Most of the time a first request of a Dominant, either online or offline is to have His submissive start a submissive journal. 

You need to be prepared as to why you want her to do this…

Sit down in a quiet place and think of two reasons you can give yourself as to why you want your submissive to have a journal, then fill it in on your journal.

1.

2.

One thing a Dominant must NOT do is if your submissive is keeping a journal, you as a Dominant are NEVER to use the submissive’s words against them. The journal is a haven for a submissive to express themselves and they certainly don’t need their Dominant having to use that against them for possible future arguments, especially when they trust their Dominant by letting them read something so private and personal. So, be kind.

A journal can bring you closer to your submissive and in turn, allows for her to grow and thrive along with you on your D/s journey together.

You are a Dominant, you crave control, there is magic in what your submissive writes, magic when you read her thoughts or a fantasy. You need to assert your Dominance over her mind soul and body, don’t let her stagnate or forget to write in her journal.

Decide on a good time that you want her to do her journal every day and you can enforce it. Let them know that this is done because a submissive’s journal can be a powerful tool in keeping a D/s relationship healthy.

Dominant’s this is especially for those of you who don’t live with their D/s partner, and thus don’t have the ability to “read” your submissive’s body language and tone on a daily, in-person basis, a journal is a very helpful combination “early warning system” for any type of stress.  

Think for a while and decide what you want for your submissive to write on her inside cover page, just something short, here is an example 

[Your Dominant’s Name] is my Dominant.

I am his submissive.

My goal is to serve [Your Dominant’s Name] to the best of my ability.

On the first page of  her journal you can give your submissive a task to do and give an amount of words needed for it lets say between 50 and 100 words, the amount is up to you, but remember to make the decision and tell your submissive you want x amount of words. The task is to write in her journal about what the value of journaling is to her.

Welcome To Our Dominant On Line Training Course

Good day I want to welcome everybody to our brand new blog, we also have a submissive blog your submissive can follow at http://submissivelearnings.blogspot.com/.

This is the first of our Dominant on line training courses that start from basics and are not overwhelming to a new Dominant that wants to learn about BDSM.

It will teach you slowly from the very basics.

The reason for this blog is to do some of the stuff on here to help Dominant's, and if you want to do the course with your submissive just email us at submissivecourses@gmail.com.

I hope you enjoy this blog as I go through some of the tasks and info, and dont forget to follow us and you welcome to try some of the stuff on your own.

Not all of this content belongs to us some of it is taken from the internet and some pictures, I do not claim to own any of them, unles I say it's mine.

I hope this blog will teach you some things that you wanted to learn. If there is anything you would like to learn please feel free to e mail us.

So relax and have fun.